I cannot stand the excellent sheep.

The excellent sheep that bleat their own praises as they trot obediently behind the shepherd,
Following blindly into pastures with no end in sight.

Eager to be gathered,
eager to have the wool pulled over their eyes,
as they forget to follow not the shepherd, but their hearts.

We forget that we are discontent.
We are wild, restless, unruly, and discontent.
We are our thoughts and dreams and passions that drive us to achieve more.
We are the incredible potential that lies in our talents and wisdom and enthusiasm,
That we put on hold for empty promises of time and fortune and fame.

But I say take a risk,
Run the other way,
Find the unpaved path traveled by few.

What is the sense in finding your purpose by running away from your purpose?
Find what pulls at your heartstrings,
Find what needs fixing,
And run.

Not OK

I was hit by a car yesterday.

And it made me realize how little I know about not being ok. I'm so used to saying I'm fine that I don't know what to do when I'm not. I don't know how to tell people that no, I'm not ok and you just hit me with a car holy shit and please call the police. I don't know how to say you hurt me and I'm lying on the floor with my bike on top of me and I can barely catch my breath and does that look ok to you? Perhaps it's my privileged, fortunate life that has left me with so little exposure to pain and loss and sadness that I'm not able to express hurt; I'm too inexperienced to let the bottled up anger manifest in the "not ok". 

So instead I whisper "yes, I'm fine" as the world seems to spin around me and the sun seems too bright and I black in and out of consciousness. I stand up even though I know I can't and I almost instantly collapse onto the railing beside me, still dazed from the impact. People gather and I mutter the only words I can still remember how to say "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..." so practiced after 20 years of being fine. I thank the lady who gets me the name and phone number of the driver and the spectators look on skeptically as I continue to reassure them that I'm ok.

And one by one they leave, only barely believing what I say...

And with one last "You're sure you're ok?", the car speeds away...

And one by one, my steps bring me home and I collapse on the couch, shoulder and neck throbbing in pain...

I'm not OK.

A Reflection on Studying Abroad at Cambridge

Or things I appreciated, things I learned, and things I wish I had known.

This post is a bit overdue, but after my semester abroad, I reflected a lot on my time at Cambridge and how different things turned out than I expected. 

Before I decided to study abroad, I made a list of pros and cons. Topping the pros side was the opportunity to travel and learn from new experiences, new people, and new ways of teaching. Topping the cons was leaving a school I loved. Perhaps my reluctance to go was a bit reminiscent of Stockholm Syndrome, but the endless opportunities, the rigor of the work, and especially the people made MIT a hard place to leave. But I was only missing 12.5% of my time at MIT in exchange for completely new experiences, and that seemed like a trade-off worth making. So I signed the form, bought my ticket, and 9 months later, I was on a plane to the other side of the Atlantic.

I had high expectations for Cambridge. I thought it would be similar to my summer in Singapore: incredibly memorable and filled with people who influenced my world as much as I hope I did theirs. I would get the chance to explore new ways of learning, change my perspectives, and gather experiences that would influence my future. But things ended up a bit differently. I guess it was a clash of cultures, but things didn't click as well here: I didn't feel as open around the people I met. In Singapore, I felt comfortable right off the bat. Cambridge was different. I felt like half the time I was holding myself back, especially when my lame jokes and over-excitability were often met with an uneasy seriousness. And then there were the conversations. My favorite way to learn about people is to learn about their dreams, but that didn't seem like a topic most people talked about here. And although I found my experiences valuable, I wish I had a better idea of what I should expect going in. I would have still done it, but more complete information would have been helpful to getting acquainted. Hopefully, this account of studying abroad will give an honest insight into my experiences.

Things I Appreciated

• The new friends who helped me to adjust to this new world and made me feel welcome.
• Getting the time to re-balance my life socially, academically, and personally.
• Exploring new interests like blogging, salsa dancing, badminton, and working on projects that I never would have had time for at MIT.
• Getting the time to focus on what I want in the future and how I can best contribute to the world.
• The rest of my exchange student compadres who helped keep a little piece of home close by.
• Getting the chance to travel around Europe and become more familiar with the world.
• May Ball!

Things I Learned

• Traveling is NOT a good way to relax; that shit is exhausting .-. My traveling limit is about 2 weeks before I become a literal vegetable.
• There's a lot to be gained from adopting new hobbies. It introduces you to a whole set of unexpected lessons. For example, I'm now oddly knowledgeable about African Gods from doing Cuban salsa.
• After lots of reflection, I've figured out that it doesn't matter to me what I do, as long as I'm helping people realize their potential for impact. Engineering is just another skill for my tool belt (along with empathy, leadership, design, etc.) of ways to approach this ultimate goal.
• The theory behind engineering (what Cambridge largely focuses on) doesn't excite me nearly as much as the applications of it.

Things I Wish I Had Known

• British culture is very different from American culture. Most notably, I missed the obnoxious laughter and the authentic openness of Americans. I missed people laughing at my lame jokes whether it was out of pity or actual amusement, and I missed people sharing their dreams, even to strangers. Maybe it's something about being brought up with the idea of the American dream that makes us dream big, but I've noticed that Americans often have concrete goals they're aiming for whereas I was met with a lot of complacency about the future from British friends.
• Studying abroad is a lot more relaxing than another semester at MIT. The rigor and difficulty is toned down significantly.
• Academics are focused on the theoretical, and hands-on opportunities are limited. Cambridge pales in comparison to MIT in terms of hands-on experience. Even machine shops are highly limited to students. But how do you become a good engineer without learning how to use the tools of engineering?
• The academics are a lot more grades focused. That might be fueled by the intense competition (grades are shown publicly) or by the way academics is handled here (a lot of my questions were met with "that won't be on the test"), but I'm unsure.

But after all of this, my experience ended up being unexpectedly as expected. I did learn to think in a different, more theoretical way and adopt an appreciation for digging deeper into topics. I did change my perspectives by better appreciating aspects of the world I left behind. And I definitely altered the path to my future. With all the time to explore new hobbies and puzzle through my own thoughts, I was able to focus on making my goals a little more concrete and get involved in projects and hobbies that I will carry back to the firehose.

Can't wait to be back, MIT :)

Imposter Syndrome for Millennials

Modern Imposter Syndrome wears a different mask than the one of 40 years ago.

Technology and social media have completely changed the way we experience Imposter Syndrome. We have much more control over what people see, making it easy to present only an idealized life. Our outward facing selves can be crafted to reflect perfectly filtered versions of reality. But that only widens the disconnect between our portrayed selves and our actual ones. We end up not giving people a chance to see what's genuine, making it less and less likely to feel appreciated and more and more difficult to avoid Imposter Syndrome. In the past, the only wall between our presented selves and our internal selves was our ability to filter our words and emotions. With social media, this protective wall becomes more of a fortress.

Social media makes it easy for Imposter Syndrome to be self-inflicted. By burying ourselves into the fabrications of the online world, we enter an artificial place where we can never truly reflect our authentic selves. Of course we feel inferior and unappreciated when we consciously portray only half of our selves. We curate to feel special, but instead feel misunderstood.

Growing up in this tech-driven generation, Imposter Syndrome has a disproportionately large role in my life. A fear of being found out is always in the back of my mind, and vulnerability intensifies that feeling. But you grow by doing things that scare you, so my way of being vulnerable is testing my limits. From blogging publicly to working on personal technical projects, I'm outside of my comfort zone. I've never been a first rate writer; I'm not the greatest engineer. I've worked on technical projects in the past, but I've never spearheaded an original idea. Which is why working on PenPal has become more than just a technical challenge. It's become an internal battle between my insecurities and a desire to contribute to the world as an engineer.

After years in the school system, I've become accustomed to the formulaic ease of solving problems with an existing solution. So when it came to brainstorming novel ideas, I was frustrated with my inability to solve problems instantly. Then there was the fear of failure. It's easy to be walked through a problem, because if you don't get it right, there's someone else to blame. However, I'm responsible if my ideas don't work. It's scary to have no scapegoat, to know that a failure is solely the result of your own incompetence. It screams imposter when your idea fails.

But failing is the only way to train creativity. Just like any other skill, creativity is a muscle that needs to be conditioned, and there's no shortcuts. There's just cold, hard failure after failure. However, working on PenPal has helped me realize that failure is not a sentiment to the quality of my work or level of intelligence. Failure doesn't mean I'm an imposter; it means I'm a person. It means I'm a novice who may need more experience with creative endeavors, but failing does not mean I'm a failure. Being a failure is a permanent state; being a novice shows potential for growth.

PenPal isn't my typical project, which is probably why it has taught me so much. At first, I figured it'd be a short term thing, something to dabble in just to say I did. I spoke about it without believing that I could pull it off. It was more of a pipe dream to impress others rather than an honest endeavor. It was Imposter Syndrome at its finest: my insecurities held me back from actually trying to innovate, but my desire to be recognized drove my ambitious words.

However, my partner was relentless. He would mention it often or excitedly bring up a new idea to try. I was sucked into committing to the project before I was ready, but then again, I don't think I would have ever been ready. I've been conditioned to avoid risky endeavors, and I considered this one of them. But my partner was my advocate when I didn't advocate for myself. Now a few months in, I've adopted a new mindset. Classes had taught me to use others as a crutch. A friendly, well-meaning TA would always be there to answer my questions, and I would receive the instant satisfaction of the right answer, but the long term insecurity of feeling reliant on others. With PenPal, there is no safety net. If I can't figure something out, the only option is to think harder. For the first time, I couldn't pass my burden of failure to anyone else. This led to weeks of frustration as I puzzled through idea after idea to realize they were all incorrect. I wasn't used to this.

What PenPal has taught me though is to slow down and appreciate the process. There's merit to working on something that makes your mind churn in endless circles, that makes you struggle before gifting you with the answer. And accepting failure isn't accepting incompetence. It's accepting growth.

I'm a huge proponent of personal projects because they encourage a type of learning that you can't get from the classroom. They force you to struggle in a way that's uncomfortable at first, but rewarding in the long term.

By tackling ambitious projects and allowing myself to fail, I'm hoping to converge my internal and external selves. I want to be as confident internally as I portray myself externally. I'm no longer going to be an imposter.

Becoming a Priority

What determines whether something becomes a priority or just an option?

People are faced with a lot of choices in life and a lot of things competing for their attention. So how do you become a priority? What guides that decision for people?

It doesn't matter whether it's a product, a service, or our selves. We're always competing for the limited attention people are willing and able to give to the world. With the newest, tech-obsessed generation, attention spans are shorter than ever. But it's by necessity: in order to filter out all of the noise of social media and constant information, attention spans have been reduced to an astonishingly short 7 seconds. So how do you distinguish yourself and rise above the noise?

This is a question I tackle in nearly everything I do: Design for America is about getting design its due consideration at a tech-focused school, FingerReader was about making accessible technology that blind people would actually want to use, getting someone's time of day is about competing for the few hours they have remaining between work and sleep. And at the core of all of these challenges is understanding people. It's about finding what makes people excited and what makes them tick. However, there's a few things that more universally encompass what motivates people. This falls into the realm of psychology, but I'll see what my non-expert perspective can offer:

1) Humans are social creatures, and that means we're driven by communities. A group becomes a community when you start feeling comfortable around them. There's no emotional fatigue of putting up facades and no struggle to understand group norms. Once we're part of an in crowd, we become devoted to our new second family. We attend all our sport practices because we don't want to disappoint the teammates we care deeply about; we stay up until 4AM to comfort our best friends because we know they would do the same. We're motivated by our bonds with others, and that's an idea we can use in becoming a priority. Build communities of supporters and users around your products so they feel connected; be genuine in forming relationships so people know you care. But most importantly, prioritize people above all else. This is something I still struggle with, but it's a time-worn truth that will continue to ring true, even if I need reminders.

2) People dig challenges, and that's not just my inner nerd speaking. Goal-setting theory states that one of the most compelling human motivators is having challenging, specific goals to pursue. There's a beautiful truth to that: humans are innately curious, growth-minded beings, and that's super cool. Offer people a chance to grow and they'll come flocking.

3) Give people a good reason to expect high return on their investment of their most valuable resource: time. Despite being social beings, humans are also selfish. They want to maximize benefit: an urge rooted in survival of the fittest. So make yourself a pleasure to be around, make the interactions of your app delightful for the user, and help them feel valued for being the special butterflies they are.

But what other rules can we apply to becoming a priority? It's hard to say when people are all influenced by their unique perceptual worlds, which changes exactly how they're motivated and what they're motivated by. And depending on ever-changing environmental factors - rain, stress, sleepiness - even those supposedly stable motivators can change. 

So it's something of an art. Deciphering each person's unique set of quirks is comparable to deciphering the meaning of art or literature. Design is considered a art for good reason...but not necessarily for the right reasons. Design is usually thought of in the context of aesthetic design: what something looks like, how something fits into your hand, what color something is. These factors were all determined by the careful eye of a designer. But on a broader level, design is about finding patterns among people and their motivations to make some product or service a priority. And of course that would involve the seemingly trivial details typically thought of as design, such as color, font, or form. Humans are nuanced so we need to pay attention to nuances. Sure we have our base set of human motivators, but after that, it's all a finely tuned dance of navigating human complexity one small insight at a time. Guess it's time to learn to dance.

Optimistically Jaded

In freshman year, I was named the forever freshman.

People attributed it to my optimism and my happy-go-lucky demeanor towards any and everything. I remember writing a speech for the CPW TimTalks that year and it was full of absolutes: "MIT is #1 for so many reasons" and "MIT is undoubtedly the best place for students to pursue their dreams."

I reread this love letter to MIT with a raised eyebrow but a warm heart, amused yet nostalgic of my idealistic freshman world. I remember a conversation I had then in which I vehemently defended that MIT is objectively the best school out there. Not surprisingly, my friend and I both came out of that conversation with unchanged opinions.

Since then, I have learned to look at things more critically. Call it realistic or call it jaded, but I've learned how valuable it is to have a critical perspective on things. I remember when jadedness took its roots in me sophomore year. I was confused why every situation didn't have the same glow of perfection, the same aura of amazing. But then again, there were people facing real problems, so my late blooming reality check seemed trivial.

And it didn't turn out to be such a bad thing: sure I don't see everything as rainbows and unicorns anymore, but that's just a side effect of growing up, and one that I am grateful for. Looking back, I realize my jadedness was a result of my intense desire to make an impact. In order to continue growing and improving, I needed to look at everything with a critical eye. Only by looking at things critically can we improve, because being aware of flaws is the first step to fixing them. Thus, my negativity is a result of my productivity. The problem is, now I have trouble turning off my critical lens to see the unfiltered optimistic side of things with the same ease I once had. As a product of constantly looking for ways to improve, I now risk thinking myself into a frenzy of negativity.

However, I now strive for a better blend of innocent optimism and experienced guardedness. I still look for ways to improve, but I also push myself to consider the promising positives of every situation.

Admittedly, I've been a little harsh on my Cambridge experience, which is what triggered this post in the first place. It wasn't what I expected, but there's a lot to be grateful for. Nevertheless, whenever I spoke about my experiences, I noticed myself bringing up the negatives more than the positives. Conversations about my time at Cambridge always started with "It's great but..." and then spun off into what could be improved. However, the way I frame my experiences affects how other people view them as well. Taking a polarized stance can close off new ideas and turn off people from thinking in a different way. My tendency towards extreme opinions is why I'm sometimes shiet at giving advice or have trouble getting people to see things the way I do. Extreme positions seem personal and emotionally driven, and that's not convincing anyone.

So now I'm working to both internalize and externalize a more balanced perspective of the world. And I'm still working on this balance. I take criticism a bit too far at times, while giving too much benefit of the doubt at others. My perceptions influence the lens through which I view the world, tuning the jadedness dial up and down based on my preconceptions. But its important to practice objectivity in every situation. We have control over how we view the world around us, and that means we should responsibly tune our own perspectives to be a little more understanding. By being aware of our biases, we're able to give everything and everyone their due consideration.

It's kind of ironic then that my jadedness was a result of one of the most positive experiences of my life. My time in Singapore the summer after freshman year was the catalyst to my passion for impact, but was also what started me on the relentless path of making impact happen as fast and as often as possible. But rather than approaching improvement in the blindly critical way that I used to use, I'm trying to tune my mindset to one of optimistic jadedness. I still want to see problems as improvements to be made, but I also want to see them as a projection of a better world in the near future. It'll be a process, and I'm still working towards this happy medium. 

Or maybe I'm just working towards happy :)

Just Seth Godin, saying it like it is B-)

To overcome an irrational fear...
replace it with a habit.
If you're afraid to write, write a little, every day. Start with an anonymous blog, start with a sentence. Every day, drip, drip, drip, a habit.
If you're afraid to speak up, speak up a little, every day. Not to the board of directors, but to someone. A little bit, every day.
Habits are more powerful than fears.

#filters

Despite the trending popularity of #nofilter, we all apply our own filters everyday.

And that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Whether it's the chill one, the silly one, the career-oriented one, or the quiet one, we're different selves around different people simply by design. We only want to show the side of ourselves that is most likely be accepted or will most fit with people's expectations.

So in moderation, these filters are helpful. We use them to protect the people around us from what they might not want to see and to protect ourselves from rejection or shame. We hide our silly sides during interviews so we don't overwhelm potential employers, and we shield our professional selves from friends so we don't look like we take ourselves too seriously. The filters we apply all depend on social context. Establishments decide for us what's permissible to show, and we comply with these standards so as not to stand out and become an easy target for criticism. It's hard to expose the authentic selves we hold so dear to a sometimes savage world.

But these socially imposed standards sometimes cause us to overdo it. Have you ever seen a picture that has been so over-edited that you want to look away? Humans can do that same sort of over-filtering to themselves. It's the crux of all things fake, cliche, or basic. But rather than contempt, we should meet these cliches with empathy. Over-filtering is merely going to further lengths to become more likeable, and we all strive for that. Except with over-filtering, we run the risk of becoming cookies from the same cutter, cakes from the same mold. For the sake of acceptance, we lose the quirks that make us each uniquely individual. We hide a part of ourselves that the world could benefit from. Because the world needs uniqueness. The world needs the new perspectives it offers, the different opinions it encourages, and the innovative approaches it sparks. Each person offers something new, but only if they express themselves as the individuals they are.

It's dangerous that institutions impose these standards, because they not only hurt us, but also damage themselves. By restricting norms to a checklist rubric, institutions drive people to fit themselves into a mold. This results in a culture of exclusivity and uniformity that drives away the valuable perspectives of people who would rather lose out on an opportunity than sacrifice self-expression. It's the root of the gender gap in Silicon Valley; it's the reason why MIT is so special with its wide-ranging diversity of students.

So for the world's sake, we should all strive to be a little bit more of ourselves. No doubt, vulnerability is hard: you have to remove your protective filters to reveal an individual that some might not expect. But it's not really getting rid of your filter; it's just taking it off of yourself and applying it to the world. Instead of filtering yourself for the people around you, filter the world for the people who can handle your uniquely awesome self. 

Vulnerability is difficult, but it can be so worth it. All of the most impactful events in my life have involved making myself vulnerable: to criticism, but also to acceptance. My summer in Singapore gave me the chance to be my authentic self for people from a different culture, and their willingness to accept me was humbling. I was afraid of making my blog public because I didn't want someone to read it and see a Connie they didn't expect. I didn't want to release my private opinions to a public that might not agree, or worse, think they weren't worth anything. But it was so fulfilling to hear friends and strangers alike accept and resonate with a self that I usually conceal. The fear of feeling worthless often keeps us from being vulnerable, but being vulnerable is the best way to realize your self-worth.

These acts of vulnerability gave me a new love for humanity. To see how willing people are to accept the authentic me made me value the incredible human-ness of being understood. No other animal can understand and empathize with each other in the same way that humans can, and that makes showing yourself in all your quirky, dimensioned, unique individuality so beautiful.

Vulnerability is the new #nofilter. Join the trend?

10 Tips for the Travel Newbie

Everyone has a first time sometime.

And what's not to like about a little advice to start you off? As a newbie Euro-traveler myself until recently, I'm glad to share a few things I wish I had known (and learned along the way). 

1) Find out about all of the common scams

For example, there's a lot of pickpocketing in Barcelona, people giving out flowers in Italy, and men tying wristbands on tourists in Paris. Avoid them so you don't get tied up in any scam shenanigans!

2) Get cash before you leave

You can get the best exchange rates by submitting a cash order to your bank instead of withdrawing from ATMs abroad or exchanging US dollars at the airport. However, make sure to take precautions to keep your cash safe while traveling. A money belt is a good investment to keep both your extra cash and your passport close to you. They might look tacky, but you'll have a better peace of mind!

3) Pre-search, but don't overplan

Don't pigeonhole yourself into specific plans or attractions: checklist traveling is one of the easiest ways to make a trip a bore. That means skip the bus tours and public transit and walk! Get lost in the streets of [insert awesome city] and be delighted by what you find :)

4) Pack light

Try to stick with only one pair of jeans and a single coat for layering. For girls, bring a few pairs of tights that can be worn underneath jeans on cold days and alone on warmer days. I opted to travel with my laptop, but with smartphones these days, you can go without it. Bring mini shower necessities and lots of socks and underwear so you don't have to skip out on doing fun things just to deal with laundry. Skip the towel: they're too bulky and you can usually rent them at hostels.

5) Find exciting hostels in a central location

Look for hostels with a fun, energetic vibe. If they have some mention of a large lobby bar, music, or student-targeted events (such as bar crawls, tours, etc) in the hostel description, that's a good sign.  It'll greatly facilitate meeting new people, especially if you're traveling alone, and provide a nice hang out spot if you're traveling with friends. Also, make sure it's in the city center! It'll allow you stay out later, give you a place to retreat midday if you need a break, and give you more of a chance to explore to your heart's desire.

6) Especially if you haven't traveled for a while, be careful of tap water

Although it may be certified as safe, your body might not be used to certain minerals or things in the water that natives would naturally be immune to. Go the safe route and stick with bottled water instead, unless you're traveling for longer than a month. In this case, you might just want to bear through the sickness once so you're safe for the rest of your trip and beyond. However, bottled water is a guaranteed way to avoid water poisoning, and it'll make your travels happier times.

7) Stay healthy!

Forreals doh! With all of the excitement of new sights to see and foods to taste, it's easy to forget about eating your fruit and veggies, drinking enough water, and taking breaks. But believe me, you'll burn out quickly if you're not health conscious: the easiest way to ensure healthy habits is to start out each day with a fruit and something energy boosting. Then you can indulge in all of the deliciousness you want throughout the day! And pace yourself. Don't use all your energy in the first few days or hours. Traveling with friends naturally gets you to travel at a good pace, but if you're by yourself or with one other, you need to be more aware of building breaks into your schedule because the lack of human inertia means you might end up traveling at a burnout pace.

8) Preload maps

GPS still works without wifi, so preload a map to your phone and off you go. Google Maps also has a nifty feature called Offline Maps that allows you to save maps and zoom in and out on the streets to get a bearing of where you are.

9) Try traveling alone

It's lonely at first no doubt, but it'll put you outside of your comfort zone and that's when you grow most. It'll also make you appreciate your friends, family, and privileges all the more. Of course, take precautions to stay safe. Don't stay out too far past sundown, consult others about which cities are safest to visit alone, etc. But also have fun! Don't be so concerned that you miss out on a good time abroad :)

10) Make new friends

Traveling and especially living in hostels is the best way to meet people who you normally wouldn't interact with. Talk to them, learn about their lives, and share your own stories with them. It's basically learning about many corners of the world for the price of one! Hostel boarders often come from all nationalities and backgrounds, but often all speak English together since it's the one language most young people have at least a working knowledge of.

So that's it! :) Now go crazy and explore!

Eurotrip (Part 3: The Self)

If you want to learn more about my Eurotrip, check out Part 1 of this series. These posts are all focused on the lessons I learned and adventures I had during my travels. This leg of the trip reflected my solo travel experience.

The Self

After a whirlwind of upset stomachs, exotic foods, and vaulted ceilings, I arrived in Berlin for the last leg of my journey: the self. My plans were to explore Berlin and Amsterdam after a few friends recommended that these are safe places to travel alone as a very obviously, non-native female.

So off a went to Berlin. And almost instantly upon arrival I was hit with an unfamiliar feeling: a helpless loneliness. I just wanted to curl up in bed and not think about how far away I was from everything familiar to me. It wasn't like I hadn't traveled before: I'd been to Singapore, I'd visited Thailand, I'd traveled solo in the US. But this felt entirely different. Without the security of familiar faces or even a purpose for being there, I was crippled with a case of the loneliness.

But this triggered my instincts to seek out company, so I started striking up conversations with strangers. One thing led to another, and I ended up spending a whole day with a new Italian friend and another day sharing stories with a girl from Argentina. And through these new friends, I was able to learn about the world, different cultures, and new perspectives. They shared stories of their pasts and dreams for their futures and I did the same. It was a practice of trust and vulnerability that helped me adopt a new humility. I learned about Let's love for her hometown of Buenos Aires and Cecco's conflict between his Italian roots and his love for the progressiveness of other parts of the world. But despite our disparities, our laughter was universal. No matter our disparate paths that brought us to Berlin, we could still share laughs about terrible Lego constructions and the craziness of German weather. We had our differences, but could all appreciate the beauty of the city around us.

After a delayed flight and the previous three weeks of travel, I arrived in Amsterdam excited, but ready for a break. However, plans dictated otherwise. Luckily, the freedom of solo traveling allowed me to spend the next few days on my own to experience the other side of traveling alone (besides meeting new people): meeting myself. I'm already quite big on self-reflection, so being with just my thoughts was nothing novel. However, in the past it was always for a few hours, not a few days. Which inevitably led to me getting bored with my own company and resorting to people watching, self-reflecting, and thinking about tremor pen (intellectual thinking is not my natural state).

There is definitely a lot of merit to traveling alone and I would recommend it to everyone, but perhaps only as a one time thing. Of course everyone gets something different out of solo travel, and it really depends on your mindset and starting state. No matter what though, it takes you outside of your comfort zone and that's a learning experience just waiting to happen. However, the way I see it, a lot of the benefits to solo traveling can be gained through other means. Learning from people, self-reflecting, and being inspired by new experiences can all be done by just making a more conscious effort to connect with yourself and the people and places surrounding you on a more regular basis. Appreciating the privileges you have or adopting an understanding of the sameness among humanity are all lessons learned from the first time around. I see a diminishing return to the benefits of traveling alone, but then again I may be a special case. I love exploring the world, but I love sharing those experiences with others even more. I feel like travel is inherently an experience to be shared. It's not about the city, but exploring together, laughing together, making memories, and so much more. Traveling is about new experiences, and those are best shared with others. 

I went back and reread all the Quora posts that had raved about the benefits of solo travel and inspired me to go on this adventure in the first place. I now read these with a much better understanding of what they mean. When they mention that you will be very lonely or when they rave about the insane amount you will learn, I see my own experiences. One Quoran wrote: "a smile goes a long way anywhere in the world." And it's so true. Through my travels, I've discovered how sporting a friendly face is all that is necessary to open up the doors of conversation with that group of girls from Ecuador working in UK nurseries or the fun Italian man who loves to laugh and studies Mandarin.

My encounters with these new friends and my travels overall have made me more grateful than ever: for being English speaking, for having a friendly face, for having the chutzpah to take off and travel alone and learn so much. I also have a new appreciation for my friends and family for being the stability I need in my life and the people I can forever share my experiences and memories with. So it's with a new humility and openness to experiences that I sign off on this Eurotrip. Arrivederci, au revoire, adios, and until next time :)

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I'm so grateful that I got this opportunity to travel and discover the world. I just turned 20 right after this Eurotrip, and with that comes the realization that I will never be this young again. Hell, I'm already getting tired a week or two into traveling; imagine the exhaustion I will feel from traveling a few decades from now! I'll be limited in the places I can see as my muscles weaken and I have more responsibilities to my name. The upcoming 5 or so years are the best years for me to hike the mountains of Peru or explore the streets of Vietnam. Despite this Eurotrip, there's still so much (if not more) that I want to see. However, it's nice that this trip has taught me so much about my traveling preferences. Through travel, I want to learn how people live so I can better empathize with others and expand my mental schema to understand the world. It'll be a long term goal, but I'm excited to see where my future travels will take me and what new lessons I will learn.